I don’t let myself play staring contests anymore
I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS
One of my best friends thinks she's the hottest, most sexually active/skilled out of literally everyone. She's a huge bitch about it. Exp: I mentioned her new roommate was hot & she interrupted me by saying "oh yeah we're gonna fuck, don't bother." He asked me out drinks & she showed up/tried to cock block, but I fucked him all night with the door open so she could hear/see me getting what she wanted. Then we had sex in their bathroom and made her late for work. #byefelicia
My grandma would always x out people in her yearbook and write “Deceased” when one of her high school classmates died. We often found it morbid. Grandma wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.
That’s not a yearbook.
That’s a hit list.
I was out with my boyfriend at a bar & saw my ex randomly in the back of the bar.. After a few drinks when I saw him looking over at us while we were standing by the dart board, I reached down my bfs pants and grabbed his cock while kissing him.. making sure he knows what he lost
" 7 Billion smiles, and yours is my favorite.